Heather Armstrong’s Legacy: The Power of Authentic Motherhood Narratives
The world of mom-influencers and mommy bloggers is mourning the loss of a true trailblazer, Heather Armstrong. Through her blog Dooce, she fearlessly shared her experiences as a mom, giving other mothers the courage to embrace their own truths on the journey of motherhood. Prior to her groundbreaking work, depicting motherhood as anything less than idyllic was almost considered blasphemous. Thanks to moms like Ms. Armstrong, more and more people, including spouses, partners, and other stakeholders, are recognizing the charms, and challenges, of being a mother.
When Dooce was launched, I had already spent two years at home caring for my toddler twin sons, choosing not to return to my career in corporate marketing. As I reflected on my role and the activities that filled my workdays, writing emerged as my true passion. However, I struggled to find a way to channel it into something meaningful and sustainable while managing my home life in this new chapter. I wish I had known about Dooce and Heather Armstrong’s pioneering work at that time. She ultimately provided a blueprint for me and countless others, enabling us to build platforms and connect with mothers and parents everywhere. Despite her personal struggles, aside from motherhood, I hope she can rest well knowing that she played a pivotal role in starting a movement that has positively impacted the lives of children and families.
As I reflect on my own journey through motherhood, transitioning into a parent educator, consultant, author, and podcaster, I’d like to share some valuable advice:
1. Tell it like it is. If it’s hard, say so. You can triumph over your trials, but you have to name them first. If you don’t speak up, others won’t know you’re struggling. If they don’t know, they can’t help. Telling your truth will enlighten others beyond moms. Community organizations, employers, educators, healthcare providers, places of worship, and others also need to know what is going on with moms. As a society, we must resolve that we will share in the blessing and burden of raising healthy, well-adjusted kids who are ready to tackle life and make a positive contribution during their time on earth.
2. Get help. Enlist the support of family members and friends. Be specific about your needs. More hands on deck make the job easier, especially when they are the right hands. Once you make that first ask, you will be surprised at the number of resources and knowledgeable professionals available to help you create viable solutions that work for YOU. Reach out before you become thoroughly overwhelmed, so the climb out won’t be so hard.
3. Embrace your unique journey. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Remember that what you see of others is just a snapshot in time, and you don’t know the effort and struggles they have faced. Respect them, but you don’t have to replicate them. Be clear about your vision and create a realistic path to reaching it.
4. You are not alone. Other mothers are having similar experiences. Talk to them about it and they will likely offer help and encouragement. Family and friends are usually happy to help when you tell them what you need. You can’t expect to get ALL of the help you need from one person; spread the work around a little bit, so everyone can manage their load. Recognize that not everyone in your orbit, including some family and friends, is meant to help you in this particular endeavor. If their presence and actions disrupt your peace, don’t invite them on this critical mission. Your village is out there waiting for you to form it. But be selective.
5. Share your story. Trust that you WILL figure this out. When you do, share the blueprint with others, formally or informally. Just a word from you might make all of the difference in the world to an overwhelmed mom. Don’t keep your lessons to yourself. We are waiting to hear it.
In my own mini-motherhood memoir, “Mother’s Work: Pearls of Wisdom & Gems from My Journey,” I delve deeper into my personal experiences. You can grab a free copy here. As we approach Mother’s Day, I extend heartfelt wishes to all the loving moms and mother figures who are enriching the lives of children!
